Whenever I'm in public situations, especially ones where there is a lot going on, I often find myself thinking about how easy it would be for someone to kill me. For example, at a concert, in the middle of a crowded mosh-pit where people are pressed up against you, there is loud music, lots of flashing lights. No one is really paying much attention to anyone around them because the focal point is in front of them, about 5 feet up in the air. Someone, hypothetically, could stab me right in the stomach and be able to drift away from me before anyone took any notice of the vast amounts of blood seeping through my clothing. Or maybe I would pass out on them. It makes me nervous to be around hoards of people I don't know. Also, whenever I'm in a mall, I think about all the different places someone could be waiting to shoot me. Balconies, stairwells, clothing racks, all excellent hiding places for snipers. Open spaces, like streets and outdoor shopping plazas make me just as nervous. My mind is constantly trying to make plans of escape, or prepare my body defensively, because I think about all the different places someone could jump out of to assault me.
I was telling my friend, Allison, about this, and after I finished my lengthy explanation, I simply said, "So yeah, you know what I'm saying? Like do you ever just think about that?"
There was a pause, and then, "...uh, no."
I started laughing at this point. I didn't know why I expected her to agree with me. "Oh yeah Elle, I think about people stabbing me all the time."
However, Allison, being the incredibly sweet, good friend that she is, continued with, "But I mean, you're just being cautious. You are just a cautious, aware person."
To this, I replied, "Sure, cautious. Or maybe just neurotic and paranoid, but we can go with cautious."
I then proceeded to apologize ruining all of her future public encounters.
The upside to this? Robert Pattinson agrees with me.
