always, sometimes, never.

I have much to do today, and yes, this technically was not one of the things on my list. But it's all about kicking the day off right. Here is my always, sometimes and nevers, as stolen from Elise.

i always:
+ get excited about new tech-toys.
+ need to have a plan of action.
+ talk back to the TV.
+ sing along, loudly, to music in my car.
+ make myself accessible. (Email, phone, facebook, twitter.)
+ shower twice a day.
+ will use a Mac.


i sometimes:
+ throw away stacks of paper without looking through them.
+ write about myself from someone else's perspective.
+ wish for rain to justify staying in all day.
+ think in song lyrics.
+ choose to write in pencil.
+ get up before my alarm.
+ stay in my pajamas all day.


i never:
+ wear shoes without socks.
+ hate my job.
+ feel like listening to voicemail.
+ want to go back to a time before text messaging.
+ miss Texas summers.
+ want to return things to stores.
+ pass up baseball tickets.

a letter.

To a boy who knew me once:

I want you to know that I’m doing just fine. Better than fine, because for the first time in what feels like my whole life, I can honestly say that “I’m good.” I say that now. When the clerk at the gas station says “How are you today?” I answer, “I’m doing great.” Remember how I used to just shrug? I don’t do that anymore. I smile when I speak, and my whole body feels lighter. I wanted you to know that.

I don’t want you to think of me as you once loved me. When you picture me in your head, I want you to see me as I am now, as I am happiest. This is not to erase the life we had together; this is to live in the present. I will carry with me, in the most beloved part of my soul, our memories. The echo of my name on your lips will always be as a cool, autumn bay breeze around me. Nighttime walks, the smile you wore as you looked to me, thinking of how wonderful and weird I was. I do not wish those thoughts away, just as I do not forget the lessons we learned together. How we tried to weld our worlds together; the pain of realizing that some pieces just didn’t fit.

But think of me like this. With my black-rimmed reading glasses and my silver laptop splayed across my legs, with my hair pulled back in pigtails; I never wore it like that when I knew you. Knee-high socks and short-shorts, I never had the courage to wear those before, but it’s summer here, and it’s too hot for self-consciousness. I drink green tea now; I have a tall glass resting on a coaster to my left as I write this letter to you. I want you to see me like this. In my shorts and tee-shirt, with my black and white striped socks and my new smile.

I don’t know how to think of you anymore; I believe that you are happy now. Are you the same kind of happy as you once were with me? Is your smile less crooked now that we are apart? Part of me is sad to think that, but the most of me will be happy to know that you are happy again. What does your music sound like now? I always thought it changed along with your life; that it sounded different when we knew each other than before, and now after. I hope it’s still honest. I hope it’s still freeing. I want that for you.

I see the world around me in greens and browns, deep reds and soft oranges. Remember how much black I used to see? That’s different now. I feel a lifetime different than when we shared time. Yet, in the quietest moments, I can still hear you breathing, and I am still there, thinking myself the luckiest girl. Thank you for knowing me, for sharing that space, those hours. I hope to know you in your present; I hope to think of you as you are, for as long as I can.

Signed,

a girl who once knew you.

Going North;

First day in Vermont;

clean air, clear head;

put on my adventure shoes, here I come.

superficial items with good intentions.

Today, being a Thursday (distant thought from a Monday, with just the tiniest taste of a Friday), needs some fun injected directly into it. Lately, my mind has been able to focus on three things: baseball, audio engineering, and interior decorating. (Sadly, the three do not often collide.) I thought I'd share some of my finds from various, fabulous outlets on the world wide web.

A little Astros love to start us off. I haven't been able to find a good favorite player since Craig Biggio left us in 2007, but I think I have finally found my guy. Bloggers: Geoff Blum, 3rd Baseman. Solid defensive player, great in the clutch, fabulous hair. What more could a girl want in a professional athlete? He might be known more for being a Padre, but he looks MUCH better in brick red.Can be found here, from one of my favorite corporate retailers, Urban Outfitters. I think the font is what really draws me in, and of course, I love the colors. Definitely a print I'd like to look at everyday.An etsy find, and a hard item to resist purchasing. I was hovering over the "Add to Cart" button for a good twenty minutes before I forced myself to accept that I didn't have the funds to press down. So for now, I'll just admire from a distance.
I have become more obsessed with my own culture and ancestry in the past few months, and my next great task is to be a better cook. This cookbook, focusing mainly on French foods (as French and Scottish heritage dominate my family linage) will be my next purchase, hopefully. So I hope those around me are ready for a lot of breads, cheeses and seafood. Because I do believe that is what's coming.

In between editorial sessions and mixing projects, these are the items that have caught my attention. Also, Dexter and I have had a lot of fun playing around with Photobooth. As seen below. For now, it's back to editing and hopefully a dinner with my bestest friend tonight. Fingers crossed.

one step closer to being Batman.

in need of change.

Road map to no where in particular;

and an inclination to get sincerely lost.

Leaving the compass,

aimed in the direction

of wherever my feet want to walk.

All I need to know,

is how in are you?

Illegally blogging: an Ode to Summer.

The studio is incredibly slow today, so I thought I'd take advantage of the downtime and do a quick little update. My impending job search is looming, but I refuse to see the shadows just beyond my very bright weekend. Birthday time with my older brother (who turned 26 on June 25th), baseball on saturday night, and the most exciting of all? Playing with my newest member of my technological family, my new Macbook Pro laptop. (Photos to come upon arrival via the boys in brown.) 

A little photo love from my first game at Rangers Stadium in Arlington. (Thanks to my lovely Allison for the zoom action.) My new favorite New Yorkers came ALL THE WAY down to Dallas to hang out with me for a brief vacation, but let me tell you how wonderful it was to see them. So wonderful, that I have booked my flight up to New York City in October. I think of it as a blessing and a curse that the people I love are spread so far apart. Blessing? A lovely excuse to visit all the coasts. Curse? I don't ever get to see them enough. I regress, it was a perfectly insane and awesome three days. 

Even in Texas, summer is my favoritest of seasons. Everyone just seems happier in the summer. Blue skies, no school for the kiddies, families spending time together (except mine, lol.) It's just a good vibe. Even though I've entered the working force, I still live for the summer.  Even if with cloud-cover the high is 101. 

a baseball moment

Forgive me for an entry, but I'd like to have a baseball geek-out moment or two.

The above graphic, which is rapidly becoming one of my favorite photos to look at, was made by none other than my talented/lovely/hilarious graphic designer-friend, Shevvs. (It seems I cannot get through an entry without linking her blog. So just check it out, okay?) I'd also like to take this moment to congratulate Hunter Pence and Miguel Tejada on making the 2009 All-Star team. (Tejada as a reserve Shortstop and Pence as a reserve Outfielder.)

My first major league baseball experience was when I was 8 years old. This also coincided with the first year I played softball. (From the ages of six to eight, I played baseball on my brother's little league team. The transition to playing with a bunch of girls was not easy, and I was not exactly happy about it. I didn't want to play softball, I wanted to play BASEBALL.)

My whole family and I went to see the Houston Astros play the Atlanta Braves in the Astrodome. We had tenth row, Mezzanine level seats, and the emotion I remember most was how overwhelmingly excited I was. I watched as the players warmed up, sitting next to my dad, asking about a million and one questions about everything. (What team are we? Who plays second base? Is he good? How fast can the pitcher throw? How far apart are the bases?) My older brother had just turned 13, so he was in the "stat-speak" phase, where every other thing he mentioned was a number or abbreviation. I remember sharing a cotton candy with my little brother. I remember how exciting the atmosphere was, it was palpable.

This was the game that I fell in love with Craig Biggio, the Houston Astros and baseball. This was the time that I realized that my brothers and I could actually spend several hours together without fighting. And even though the players of my childhood are gone, replaced with athletes that are dangerously close to my own age, I still get that same feeling whenever I'm at a baseball game. The venue has changed. My views have shifted (no longer do I pick favorite players based off their position or number) but the excitement is still the same.

So in case you were wondering why I love baseball so much, I think that's my answer.

Hi there, Twenty-Two!

Thanks to the ever-talented Shevvs for the best birthday graphic EVER.