I might have been a happier person in the 1800's. or if I was Amish.

m: Uh hi, ticketmaster is a fucking joke. 20 extra dollars for what? Processing?

e: Yeah, ticketmaster sucks

m: But then, going to the city to buy tickets isn't very fun either.

e: No, it's pretty much a lose-lose situation. Like my life.

Modern luxuries hate me. This much I know. About a month ago, the cooling fan in my car went out, and I was forced to make a four hour drive from Dallas to Houston, in late afternoon heat, in the middle of summer, in Texas, without air conditioning. Awesome. This of course, happened after a particularly grueling day of work, one in which Pro Tools crashed every hour, on the hour, and I dropped a case of water on my foot.

So $1300 later (because oh that's right, my radiator was leaking, too) my car was back to normal. Two weeks later, my check engine light comes on. So I do what I do. I popped the hood, took a really long look at the box that I only assumed was the engine, and went, "checked. looks fine, gotta go!" and drove for a week with that blaring yellow light, causing less fear, and more annoyance than anything else. (Because you can dim all the other dashboard lights, except that macaroni & cheese yellow symbol. Downgrade.)

Eventually my Dad sees it, asks how long it's been on (Oh a few days...) and we take it to get the computer code read and deciphered. (At this point, I think I should really just invest in one of those computer-reading keypads that they use, might save some time.) Something about a cylinder is misfiring. Of course it is. Number two, I believe? I think I have four. That doesn't seem dire. How many cylinders could I possibly need, really? So they reset the light, and I drive around until it comes back on. And then I keep driving around, because I have places to go, and you are just a stupid little light.

Here's the awesome part. The other day, the light just goes off! As if my car was to say, "okay, you called my bluff, nothing was wrong. And I'm tired of keeping up the pretense." That's right car. I stand strong, YOU back down. Eleanor is the winner, and you are the loser.

See, because at this point, I was so arrogantly operating under the notion that sometimes, things just work out. Sometimes, if you leave something along, it just fixes itself! I say arrogantly, because in my heart of hearts, I know that this will never apply to me. Because the morning that my car healed itself, the speaker in my cell phone stopped working. And then the night that my phone started to work again, my ceiling fan started making this really weird sound like it was about to spin off the wall and decapitate me. And then this morning, when my fan miraculously stopped echoing the sounds of impending doom, my car starts to overheat. again.

So for anyone out there that thinks that I'm just being overdramatic, eff you. The facts are staring you right in the face. Car. Phone. Ceiling Fan. Car. Also, my dryer doesn't dry my jeans all the way, my DVR refuses to record the season premiere of The Mentalist, and My iPod's "shuffle" feature is a freaking joke. Things that man invented to make our lives more convenient and easy are the reasons that somedays, it's all I can do to just get out of bed.

Hate is a strong word, Monday. But I really, really, really don't like you.