Thursday, August 20, 2009

an awkward list

Things that I think are awkward:

+ Walking out to the mailbox as the mailman is pulling up. What do you say? He already saw you walking, and there's very little else around a mailbox to pretend you were going to do. So you just have to keep walking. And then he looks at you, because he's a mailman and he's disgruntled, and you say what? Thanks for my mail that technically I could have gone and retrieved myself from the post office, but I didn't because I have this brick box? Those four minutes are the worst.

+ When the person at the front desk of the gym says "Have a nice workout" and you react instinctually with "you too." and then you're like wait, fuck, nevermind. You work at the gym, you're not here to work out, and you tricked me. Asshat.

+ The person that walks into an empty movie theater and says the line, "Man, we're never going to find seats!" Also, I'm that person.

+ When you're at a concert, and you accidentally spill beer on a stranger. You can't really SAY you're sorry because it's loud. So you just make the hand movements you would make with your apology, and they just stare at you, looking violated. And they don't look away, so you're just staring at each other. Then you get pissed cause you know what, fuck you, girl. It was an accident. So you gesture a retraction of your apology with a shrug.

+ When you're at a baseball game and you realize that all the seats around you, that were filled with people, are all empty. Then you see the people who were sitting next to you, several rows down and away.

+ When you're in your car at a red light, and a classic song from your youth comes on. And you sing along, and you're reveling in the nostalgia, and so you start dancing. And you turn your head to look at the person in the car next to you, just to see if they're as happy as you are. And it's a cop. and he's laughing at you. Also, he's writing something down. And you left your license at home. Shit.


kristin said...

i see a few of these as opportunities to further the awkwardness and flirt w/ a man in uniform... i love seeing other people singing along to the same song i'm jamming to...

Marina H said...

I had a huge plan to post another awkward story, but I'm talking to you on AIM right now and it's much funnier talking about it live than leaving one for you here. So I'll just say LAWL and that i really like this post, and I totally agree with you. Especially about the mailman part. Is it rude to just ask for your mail? I feel like that's robbing him of part of his job.

Anyway, good blog posts lady. I like how often you're posting. You're setting a good example, I should follow. <3