Accidentally, I swear, I took a break from my blog. I was just so busy living life. (Fine, I just didn't have anything to say. Call me out, why don't you?) I tried to write, I really did! Unfortunately, I got stuck in this pattern.
1. Write Something.
2. Think it's funny.
3. Re-read what I wrote.
4. Realize it's not funny.
5. Highlight, delete, and repeat.
You're welcome, by the way. I saved the entire blogosphere from unleashing some pretty trivial, unfunny details of my very latent creative streak. Then I saw Julie & Julia the other night, which totally inspired me to blog again. I was amped. I came home from the movie, literally and technologically rejuvenated! I sat down in front of my computer, opened up a browser window and put my fingers on the home keys. (it's all about the ASDF JKL;) And I wrote. And it was awful.
Because about three paragraphs in, I realized that I didn't have much to blog about.
It's like when people update Facebook statuses about exactly what they're doing. "So-and-So is doing laundry and then taking a nap!" What the hell. Do I care that you're just another normal, boring person like me? I do those things, too. Facebook statuses should be either inside jokes (preferably between your friends that don't have Facebook accounts so absolutely no one gets them), quotes taken completely out of context, song lyrics (but don't put quotes around them, so only the scene people know what you're talking about), or finally, really badass stuff that you do that people would be jealous of. Like "So-and-So is getting on her private jet to go to Italy where people will just throw money and fancy shoes at her." Because Facebook is for stalking, and no one will want to stalk you if all you do is watch Maury and go to the gym.
Which brings me to my original point. No one wants to stalk me, or read the blogs I was writing, because my life has been exactly that. Watching day-time TV and going to the gym. (Who wants to guess which happens more often?) I finished my internship at Dallas Audio Post, I'm back from Vermont, and valiantly unemployed. And since being unemployed goes best with being uninsured, I'm that, too. So I do my best to stay inside, away from germs, fast-moving vehicles and sugary beverages (also, only a few feet away from a toothbrush at all times.) So what do you write about when that's your life?
Clearly, you write about how you don't have anything to write about. I could divulge to all my readers (and by all, I mean Shevvs and my mom. Just kidding, I don't know if my mom reads this) about the things I've been up to - what is keeping me busy. (I'll give you a hint: Real Housewives of Atlanta marathons, and alphabetizing everything that can be put in alphabetical order.) Still want to be me? Of course you do.
So that's my situation. Next blog: Why Batman is my favorite superhero, and why Aquaman sucks. (Anyone want to counter?) I need a job.
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